It is not uncommon for adoptive parents to come to us feeling out of options for their difficult child and overwhelmed about what could have created all of these DSM diagnoses and intense feelings and behaviors.  Especially if the child was adopted at or near birth.
“We adopted our son at birth. We brought him home from the hospital ourselves and have done nothing but love him.”
Does this sound too familiar? If so, then why are you now being told that all of that had something to do with the issues today?
First and foremost, it is important not to be too hard on ourselves or even our child’s birth parents. At this time, it is most important to find our child the help that they need. Understanding the diagnosis and its origins may help one decide on the most appropriate course of treatment.  Quality and traditional parenting techniques may no longer be a solution – our child’s condition will likely require trauma sensitive interventions to heal.
Fetal Trauma
First we need to understand there are many developmental milestones for your child that occur prior to birth.  Your child began feeling and learning in the womb. According to Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D., your baby learned to be comforted by the voice and heartbeat of his mother well before birth[1] – a voice that was not yours. In the case of adoption this connective disruption has an impact on the brain and body.
Paula Thomson writes for Birth Psychology, “Early pre- and post-natal experiences, including early trauma, are encoded in the implicit memory of the fetus, located in the subcortical and deep limbic regions of the maturing brain. These memories will travel with us into our early days of infancy and beyond and more importantly, these early experiences set our ongoing physiological and psychological regulatory baselines.”[2]
Clearly, chaos outside of the womb, for example, may affect children in utero. This includes arguments, a chaotic home environment or an abusive spouse, and other rambunctious noise that may seem harmless to the fetus.  If the mother drinks or smokes, or is generally unhealthy, this also impacts in-utero development, including the sense of safety and self-worth for the child.  Critical brain development is also stunted.  
Mothers that end up placing their child with adoptive parents are also likely to feel increased stress during their pregnancies.  Many are very young, have many other children or are emotionally or financially unable to support a child.  Each of these stressors could expose unborn babies to cortisol, making them also stressed.  The baby is then born anxious.
Surprisingly, babies are also able to sense a disconnection or lack of acceptance from their mother while in the womb – leading to attachment issues and developmental trauma down the road.
Genetic Memory
Beyond these connection concerns, trauma can also be an inherited condition.  Recent studies indicate that trauma resides in the DNA, allowing mental disease and behavioral disorders to be passed down for generations.  
In the end, adoption itself is a form of trauma.  Without the biological connection to their mother, even newborns can feel that something is wrong and be difficult to sooth as a result. This effect has the potential to grow over time – even in the most loving and supportive adoptive homes.
Summary: Humans, and the brain, develop through experience.  Adverse experiences stunt this development.  And development starts way before birth – even before conception.
from  https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-adopted-my-child-birth-what-do-you-mean-trauma-alex-stavros

From: http://www.dogsnaturallymagazine.com/spay-neuter-and-joint-disease/​
There are three topics you shouldn’t discuss with friends:

• religion
• politics
• and mandatory spay/neuter.

Talking frankly about spay/neuter is worth the backlash however because the health risks associated with it, especially when done in a young dog, are worthy of discussion. That isn’t to say that dogs shouldn’t be spayed or neutered; that’s a personal decision best left to the pet owner. Like vaccines and most routine veterinary procedures however, vets spend a lot of time discussing why you should spay or neuter your dog, but spend very little time talking about why you shouldn’t. The goal of this article is to give you the information your vet doesn’t, so you can make the best possible decision for your dog.
I’ll preface the article by stating that I breed Labrador Retrievers, a breed that can be prone to hip and elbow dysplasia, as well as cruciate tears. The families that get one of my puppies receive a warranty of sorts, saying that I have done everything I can to prevent these issues and if, despite my best efforts, the puppy I’ve bred ends up with a debilitating joint issue, I will refund the purchase price to the puppy’s family.
There is one disclaimer however and it’s as follows: if the family decides to spay or neuter the puppy before 24 months of age, my warranty is null and void. The reason is that research shows I can’t guarantee the puppy’s joints won’t be affected by this seemingly simple medical procedure. Spay neuter and joint disease are now shown to be related and this surgery has the capability of permanently changing a healthy puppy joint into an unhealthy one.
Abnormal GrowthAt the heart of the matter is how spay/neuter affects the dog’s hormones. When a dog’s reproductive organs are surgically removed, the sex hormones they produce also disappear. The sex hormones are responsible for more than just sexual behaviors and one of their responsibilities is regulating growth.
Breeders can readily spot the difference between an intact dog and a neutered dog: neutered dogs have longer limbs, narrower heads and bodies, and they are lighter in bone. When the sex hormones are removed, the growth hormones are missing important regulatory input and the bones continue to grow longer than they ought to. Studies have proven this to be true (Salmeri et al, JAVMA 1991).
In each long bone there is a growth (epiphyseal) plate, which is a band of cartilage found near the joint. This growth plate lays down bone as a puppy develops and, as it builds bone, the bone becomes longer and the puppy gets larger and taller. Once maturity is reached, this growth plate turns into bone and the puppy’s full height is reached.





When dogs are sterilized before maturity, the closure of some but not all growth plates may be delayed and this would be especially true if a dog is sterilized when only some of his growth plates are closed.
The dog’s elbow and stifle joints are similarly designed. Above each joint is one bone (the humerus and femur respectively), and below are two bones (in the elbow there is the radius and ulna and in the stifle there is the tibia and fibula). One bone effectively sits on two. What would happen if one of those bones underneath the joint stopped growing before the other bone and they ended up being different lengths? It would be very much like building a house on a slope: the weight of the home wouldn’t be evenly distributed and there would be increased load at the lowermost corner of the house.
The same could very well happen in the elbow and stifle joint when closure of the growth plates is artificially delayed and this could in turn lead to increased risk of both elbow dysplasia and cranial cruciate ligament tears.
There is research that supports this. Whitehair et al (JAVMA Oct 1993), found that spayed and neutered dogs were twice as likely to suffer cranial cruciate ligament rupture. Slauterbeck et al also found an increased risk (Clin Orthop Relat Res Dec 2004).
Chris Zinc DVM PhD DACVP explains, “…if the femur has achieved its genetically determined normal length at eight months when a dog gets spayed or neutered, but the tibia, which normally stops growing at 12 to 14 months of age continues to grow, then an abnormal angle may develop at the stifle. In addition, with the extra growth, the lower leg below the stifle likely becomes heavier (because it is longer), and may cause increased stresses on the cranial cruciate ligament.”
Additionally, sterilization can cause a loss of bone mass (Martin et al, Bone 1987), and obesity (Edney et al, Vet Rec Apr 1986). Both of these factors could lead to an increased risk of cranial cruciate ligament tear. Furthermore, spayed/neutered dogs are greater than three times more likely to suffer from patellar luxation (Vidoni et al, Wien Tierartztl Mschr 2005).
Hip DysplasiaThe thought of hip dysplasia is enough to strike fear into any large breed dog lover. For that reason, the bulk of research on spay/neuter and joint disease is focused on this disorder.
Dogs who are sterilized before the age of six months have a 70% increased risk of developing hip dysplasia. The authors of this study (Spain et al, JAVMA 2004), propose that “it is possible that the increase in bone length that results from early-age gonadectomy results in changes in joint conformation, which could lead to a diagnosis of hip dysplasia.”
There is more evidence that spay/neuter can increase the risk of hip dysplasia. Van Hagen et al (Am J Vet Res, Feb 2005), found that of the sample dogs diagnosed with hip dysplasia, those that were neutered six months prior to the diagnosis were nearly twice as likely to develop hip dysplasia.
Interestingly, a study by Dannuccia et al (Calcif Tissue Int, 1986), found that removing the ovaries of Beagles caused increased remodeling of the pelvic bone, which also suggests an increased risk of hip dysplasia with sterilization.
OsteosarcomaAlthough not technically a joint issue, osteosarcoma is a cancer of the bone. This bears mentioning because spayed and neutered dogs are twice as likely to develop this deadly disease (Ru et al, Vet J, Jul 1998).
In another study, male Rottweilers, a breed susceptible to osteosarcoma, were nearly four times more likely to develop osteosarcoma than intact dogs (Cooley et al, Cancer Epidemiol Biomarkers Prev, Nov 2002). In fact, Rottweilers spayed or neutered before one year of age had a 28.4%(males) and 25.1% (females) risk of developing osteosarcoma. Interestingly, the researchers concluded from their results that the longer the dogs were exposed to sex hormones, the lower their risk of osteosarcoma.
Playing RouletteThere are other related risks with spay/neuter, including an increased risk of many cancers, hypothyroidism, diabetes, urogenital disorders, cognitive impairment, obesity and adverse vaccine reactions – not to mention the risk associated with the surgery and the anesthetic. These risks should all be considered when it comes time to decide if spay/neuter is an option for your dog.
What does seem to be clear is that the risk of joint disease in particular is greatly exaggerated if the dog is sterilized before the growth plates close. It’s important to remember that the sex hormones do play a synergistic role in your dog’s growth and development and their removal will create imbalance in the body. Just what the fallout from this imbalance entails remains to be seen, as research into the effects of sterilization is in its infancy, even though hysterectomies on humans and spay/neuter on dogs has been accepted as a normal procedure for decades!
The age at which the growth plates close is entirely dependent on the dog and the breed. In general, the larger the dog, the later the growth plates will close. In giant breeds, this could be nearly two years of age.
ConclusionGetting back to my puppy contract, given the above research, I simply can’t guarantee the puppies I breed will have healthy joints if they are spayed or neutered, especially before the age of two. Whether the puppy’s family decides to keep their dog intact or sterilize him after that age is entirely up to the family. I do an extremely good job of screening the homes that apply for one of my puppies and if they aren’t responsible enough to keep an intact animal, they certainly aren’t responsible enough to deserve one of my precious puppies in the first place.
People who are involved in rescues and shelters may have a different view on this and they are certainly entitled to it. When considering if and when your dog should be spayed or neutered however, it’s important that you make the decision based on facts and try to steer clear of an emotional response that may affect the health and longevity of your dog. It’s really not for me – or your vet – to dictate what you should do with your dog.
Happily, there are alternatives to the complete removal of the sexual organs. Vets are starting to experiment with zinc injections to sterilize male dogs. This leaves about half of the circulating testosterone available to the body. Vasectomies and tubal ligations are also becoming more popular and they have the happy consequence of less interference with the sex hormones – and your dog gets to keep his reproductive organs right where nature intended them to be.
You have a choice in whether and when your dog is spayed or neutered and how important it is to you that his/her sexual organs and hormones remain in place. Once your dog is spayed or neutered, you can’t reverse your decision, so dig a little deeper and you just might find a solution that you and your dog can live with, happily and healthfully.

From: http://www.amysugenocounseling.com/secondary-trauma-in-adoptive-parents/
Secondary Trauma in Adoptive ParentsAnyone who is regularly exposed to trauma and suffering is at risk of developing secondary trauma. First responders, humanitarian workers, and ministers are but a few examples of people who regularly bear witness to suffering and trauma and who are, thus, at risk.
First Things First: What exactly is trauma?
Anything that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope at the time can be experienced and processed in the mind and body as trauma. Signs that you have experienced trauma (including secondary trauma) are: hypervigilance or over-arousal, avoidance of traumatic reminders, negative changes in how you think or feel, and re-experiencing the traumatic experience. If you experience all of these, it’s possible you may be suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Parents Can Suffer from Secondary Trauma
Children who have gone through traumatic experiences can become easily fearful and dysregulated, resulting in challenging and difficult behaviors. Because these behaviors serve as a way for their child to communicate and express how their trauma has affected them, parents are, thus, being exposed, on a regular basis, to their child’s trauma.
Regular exposure to their child’s trauma leaves parents vulnerable to secondary trauma.
Parents who are experiencing secondary trauma may: feel anxious, tense, easily overwhelmed, and have sleep difficulties; re-experience their child’s aggressive, suicidal, or self-harming behaviors or details of their child’s trauma; feel as if they have changed and are not themselves anymore; or wish to escape or avoid their child or their child’s behaviors.
Adoption can be Trauma, Too
As one life ends, another begins. For adoptive parents, there is a poignant truth: for life with your child to begin, their life – their whole world, as they knew it up to that point – had to end. When a mother gives up her child, especially during the first few years of childhood, the bonding process is suddenly and unexpectedly disrupted. Overwhelmed and helpless, attachment wounds and trauma often develop which can be difficult and complicated to repair.
Secondary Trauma in Adoptive Parents
It is not uncommon for adopted children to externalize their confusion and upset – their attachment-related wounds and trauma – with disruptive, impulsive, defiant, or aggressive behaviors. Alternatively, some internalize their struggles and may self-harm, dissociate, or strive to be perfect, compliant, or successful.
For adoptive parents, it can be very difficult and confusing trying to make sense of these behaviors. They may realize their child is suffering, but feel helpless and overwhelmed at what to do. Trying to raise a child who is suffering from the trauma in their past means parents are being directly exposed to the raw reality, upset, fear, confusion, and grief of their child’s trauma. Take these examples shared by adoptive parents:
“I was a pretty relaxed, calm, confident mom prior to adopting. I now am easily overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, even when I am not interacting with my…child. And just an overall sense that I am not who I was and have trouble experiencing joy even during really happy times.” – Allie
“When my son comes home…my anxiety increases. I am afraid anything will set him off. When he rages, I can’t stop shaking…My stomach also sometimes gets a sick feeling when I can tell his mood is going downhill.” – Julie
“The first few months, I was on high alert constantly, quick breathing…anxious about things that would normally not stress me out, had no memory…massive headaches, angry all the time, physically tense and exhausted, nauseous at the start of every day.” – April
“When I have quiet time I’m literally replaying his violent/destructive tantrums in my head.”- Karen
“Constant hypervigilance over any behavior that…might escalate to full-blown crisis. Inability to deal with other stressors in life…Emotional neediness.” – Melissa
“Feeling like I am not who I once was, decreased ability to do anything…outside of daily activities.” – Katie
“Feeling like the shoe will drop any time…I can almost always feel cortisol pumping while my heart beats faster. Lots of anxiousness.” – Kerry
“Anxiety seeping into every area of my life…Poor sleep…Just a general feeling of ‘I am not okay’ which was very out of character for me. A lot of crying and hiding.” – Kristen
“When it’s time for my daughter to come home from school I feel myself getting anxious, wondering if she will come home raging or in a good mood. And sometimes we start out in a great mood…then she turns on a dime and starts raging. I also feel distant from others and feel as if we don’t have the freedom to do things that other people with school age kids can do easily…” – Christina
“I feel distant from people because they will not really understand and being with others can be such triggers for my son.” – E.A.
Adoptive Families Specialist: Perspectives from a Colleague 
Marshall Lyles, MA, LPC-S, LMFT-S, RPT-S, at the Center for Relational Care in Austin, Texas, specializes in working with children and families who have experienced attachment wounds and other traumas. In this interview, his gentle, caring nature and considerable knowledge help shed light on secondary trauma in adoptive parents.
Amy: What kinds of symptoms or struggles do you notice in adoptive parents who are suffering from secondary trauma?
Marshall: Some symptoms seem more pervasive than others.  Many parents describe feeling burned out, chronically overwhelmed, or fatigued. It can become increasingly difficult to maintain compassion and the desire to nurture, while simultaneously feeling guilty about this. We may shut down and withdraw or be on edge a lot of the time. There can be hopelessness, anxiety, and seemingly unending frustration. Other issues may be more specific to the experiences parents went through during the adoption journey or to the experiences of their adopted children. For me, the saddest struggle happens when parents don’t understand the nature of their symptoms and begin to experience shame. They often pull away from relationships for fear of being judged (or have actually been judged) and the aloneness makes all these other hardships intensify.
A: When you tell adoptive parents that secondary trauma can sometimes develop from parenting a child who has experienced trauma, are they usually surprised?
M: At times, parents do seem surprised and wonder why they weren’t prepared for that possibility. However, many times they seem relieved. It’s as if having a name for such an invisible struggle helps to understand it. This can impact some of the shame and aloneness parents may be experiencing as a result of trauma symptoms.
A: How do you work with adoptive parents to help them when they are suffering from secondary trauma?
M: Parenting an attachment-wounded child often surfaces previously unknown relational issues for the adoptive parents. This is a really common phenomenon, but one that complicates an already stressful situation. Much of the time, therapy focuses on the child’s needs. This is certainly understandable as many adopted children deserve therapeutic attention. In my opinion, therapy can’t begin and end with the child especially when the parents are struggling with their own unresolved struggles. I often recommend that parents seek their own help from a therapist who is familiar with attachment and trauma. Also, there are many support groups and therapy groups, as well as Facebook groups, specific to adoptive parents. Therapeutic group experiences are a great possibility because community is desperately needed after feeling isolated and alone.
A: Do you have any suggestions for adoptive parents for how they can take care of themselves?
M: This is a topic that often seems simple at first glance, but can be exceptionally difficult to execute. Self-care takes time and parents don’t often feel they have that to spare. It can feel like we are having to take time away from meeting our children’s needs if we are then focusing on our own. Spending time taking care of ourselves, however, is absolutely the first step to good parenting.
We have many dimensions to ourselves: physical, relational, spiritual, emotional, etc. Pick an area of need and start as small as needed. It just needs to be something that gives you life. I’m hesitant to even list examples because it isn’t a checklist mentality. What is self-care to one person may feel like work to another. Know yourself and give yourself permission to receive care. If this is a struggle for you, it is a great subject to work on with a therapist. I can think of few better ways to help a little one come to believe they are deserving of care than to model it.