Parenting wounded children

We seek education, we learn new skills, we do our very best – and we make many mistakes in the process.  Yet, we do not determine whether our children are healed or not – or how quickly that healing comes.  We are vessels through whom God works his will and his healing power in the lives of our children.​

Recognizing the challenges, though, I argue that adoption and foster care of older children is absolutely positively worth it IF you can manage your expectations. Your expectations must be set very low. It may feel like that child is yours after only a short time -or-  you may never feel like that child is yours. In the same way, children who come to you with a decade-long history somewhere else may never feel emotionally “attached” to you, either. That doesn’t rule out a relationship with an older adoptee that is just as good as any other relationship as long as you don’t impose your relationships with your other kids onto your expectations for your relationship with an older adoptee.