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The Elusive, Manipulative Adopted Child: Learning how to bond with my daughter, who found comfort in the familiarity of being alone, has come through understanding reactive attachment disorder.

8/24/2015

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My hands hover over the computer keyboard. They are trembling. I hold down the shift key and type the words with intention, saying each letter aloud: “R-e-a-c-t-i-v-e A-t-t-a-c-h-m-e-n-t D-i-s-o-r-d-e-r.” The words “reactive attachment disorder” are memory beads I gather into a pile and attempt to string along on a necklace.

I think back to when Judith, my neighbor who is a psychiatrist, offhandedly threw out the term the first time she met Julia. We were talking about babies who start their lives in orphanages, and she mentioned the disorder. She wasn't suggesting that my daughter Julia showed any signs, but she’d said it was a well-known problem with children who’d been adopted from Romanian orphanages in the '80s and '90s. I remember nodding my head and thinking, Shut up, Judith. We got Julia young. It shouldn't be an issue.

Then, when I raised concerns with Dr. Traister about Julia’s elusive but controlling behavior when she was a toddler, he also mentioned reactive attachment disorder. Did I want a referral to a therapist, he wanted to know.

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    Best Known As Mom & Dad

    Mom and Dad to 12 precious children who we treasure.  Some joined our family by birth and some by adoption, but we love them all the same.  Life is busy and full of noise, but we are so thankful for the opportunity to spend time with our children each day & get to know their hearts more and more.  We are blessed immensely by God!

    This blog is a resource for families who are interested in adoption or have already adopted. While adoption is a beautiful thing, it many times comes with challenges to work through. Prayer and education is the key to survival and success.  

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